Tuesday, March 3, 2009

How not to break up with someone like Jason Mesnick

I really have to write just a quick note about the Bachelor last night.

Like many of you who watch and were rooting for this single dad to find the love of his life, I sat there with my mouth open saying “Oh My God”, over and over. I can’t imagine what happened to have him change his mind and to do it so publicly? It seems that Melissa’s parents were ‘right’ not to want to be a part of the publicity of it all and didn't want her heartbroken. I'm not a parent, but I was heartbroken for her just the same. Being in a real-relationship is work, real work and it takes two, so good luck to Jason and Molly.

You my lovely couples are living in the real world; away from the spotlight and the things that are ‘made for television’. Your life and love are hopefully real. The excitement of the engagement is great but it’s just the beginning. While I’m hoping to help you navigate through the sometimes stressful wedding planning, I will say that your partner may sometime see you as, a bride or groomzilla (yes groomzilla’s exist). Don’t worry, as long as you both communicate daily and work together things will be fine. In the end, the engagement is just the beginning, the wedding is just a day – the marriage is what we’re hoping will be for a lifetime.

Key: Being a good partner means being able to communicate daily, and remember the reasons you want to be together.

If however, you have decided to end your relationship, don't do it in public. Don't take them to a restaurant in the hopes that they won't create a scene. For gosh sakes, don't do it in front of millions of people. Keep in mind that at one point in time you, at least liked this person and this, even if 'expected' will still be hurtful. Knowing it's over and hearing it are two very different things. Maybe like Ross and Racheal of "Friends" fame, you just 'need a break'. Take one. Talk it out. If you decide that you can't be together, treat this person with the kindness and dignity they deserve. Remember it could be your brother, sister or even you on the end of a broken heart and relationship.

Until next time…


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