If you were one of the 20 or so men, surrounded by 500 brides at the event this past week, I salute you. You brave men ‘looked interested’ as women busily chatted all around you about place settings, dresses and invitations. I did see one very stereotypical male act, which made me laugh. As the women you promise to walk through life with looks at dresses, you walked, in some instances ran directly to the bar for a cocktail (one for her, two for you). Bridal events can be overwhelming, so on behalf of women everywhere whose fiancee don’t go with them, I want you to know how special you are for being there.
After speaking with several of you, the wedding budget was your biggest concern. How were you going to pay for this without breaking the bank, and still making her happy? Gone are the days when the brides’ family pays for everything and you shouldn’t assume they will. Unless you’re in your very early 20’s, you’ve been out of school and already working for a few years. Hopefully BEFORE you proposed, you started saving for your wedding/future as the new dynamic duo. Even if you haven’t, there are ways to heal the bleeder that has now become your bank account. Don’t worry; I have a game plan for you.
Who pays?
While this might not be the most comfortable conversation, you should have it with your beloved and both sets of parents. Right up front, have in mind how much you can afford to spend and who will be (if either) helping you.
What kind of party will it be?
Now, you can get down to business and decide what kind of wedding you’ll have – formal, outdoors, the local courthouse, a popular away destination, or underwater at a marina (hey, it could happen). Will it be morning, afternoon, an entire weekend, or an entire week of celebrating? Yes, I know a couple that celebrated for an entire week before their wedding. What is the most important thing to you both – photography, reception with an open bar, the band? OH…the dress, you know this vision of white (or pink or this season’s hot color, platinum) isn’t included in that dollar amount, but you knew that right?
Bank or bleeder?
Open a separate account and start putting in a set amount of money into it for wedding expenses regularly. There will be a lot of little things that you won’t anticipate having to pay for, so be a boy scout and be prepared.
Credit anyone?
A credit card may not be the way you want to pay but it does have a level of added protection against wayward vendors. Should there be a problem most credit card companies will help you get at least a portion (if not all) of your money back. More importantly see if your card offers ‘points, perks or cash back’. If it does, they will add up quickly and come in handy, trust me.
Guests, I guess
I know you both may want to invite everyone you know, but if you put a cap on your guests, that will lower the cost of the reception. Think of it this way…you know how expensive it is when 2 couples go out to a nice dinner and you decide to pick up the tab? Well think of it as inviting 125 couples and you’re picking up the tab. Suddenly 50 couples (100 people) is the magic number. This is your wedding, not the Superbowl.
Finally, remember you’re trying to start a new life together – debt free. So you don’t have to impress the Jones’ even if you can. Don’t live on the edge of your finances. No matter how wonderful your wedding day is going to be, it’s just a day. Plan for your lifetime together.
Until next time…
P.S. John Varvatos is celebrating Spring in style. Drop by his newly redesigned SoHo shop where the noted menswear designer will be in there to toast the occasion. So if you're looking for a new suit, stop by. RSVP today to johnvarvatos_soho@vfc.com and stop by Saturday, from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m.
John Varvatos Soho, 122 Spring Street (at Greene Street), (212) 965-0700, johnvarvatos.com
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